Parents and Youth Ministry...a Conflict?
For youth ministry to achieve God-designed purposes it cannot be approached institutionally apart from family. Institutionalism is when we begin to rely on any organization more than, or to the exclusion of, relationships and family. Youth groups and ministry cannot replace the God-designed relationships of parents.There is a problem any time we approach the things of God institutionally whether it be the church, school, or youth groups.
There is something important we need to keep in mind: parents, not youth pastors, are God's anointed vessels of training, discipling, and befriending teens. When youth leaders cultivate a relationship where they are the primary source of counsel and instruction for teens then we are usurping the most Biblical channel of discipleship in their lives: their parents.
We need to realize in the house of God that Mom and Dad are the teen's first source of counsel, relationship, and training. This puts an important pressure on parents. The pressure is to be godly. If the parents are half-hearted in their commitment to God, or they seek the Kingdom second or third instead of first as Jesus desires then the corresponding effect on the teens will be spiritually negative.
Does this idea regarding youth ministry mean that young people have no other source of influence in their lives? What about youths that have dysfunctional or no family (single parent homes etc)? The church is an extended family in which others have influence in each others lives. Like Jesus said in Mark 10:29-39 when we come into the family of God we receive many mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters. We also see in Titus chapter 2 that older saints are to influence younger saints in the ways of life serving God. The church provides an extended spiritual family that is designed by God to have positive influence in the lives of youth. Yet all of this doesn’t minimize the primary influence of parents and youth.
There is something important we need to keep in mind: parents, not youth pastors, are God's anointed vessels of training, discipling, and befriending teens. When youth leaders cultivate a relationship where they are the primary source of counsel and instruction for teens then we are usurping the most Biblical channel of discipleship in their lives: their parents.
We need to realize in the house of God that Mom and Dad are the teen's first source of counsel, relationship, and training. This puts an important pressure on parents. The pressure is to be godly. If the parents are half-hearted in their commitment to God, or they seek the Kingdom second or third instead of first as Jesus desires then the corresponding effect on the teens will be spiritually negative.
Does this idea regarding youth ministry mean that young people have no other source of influence in their lives? What about youths that have dysfunctional or no family (single parent homes etc)? The church is an extended family in which others have influence in each others lives. Like Jesus said in Mark 10:29-39 when we come into the family of God we receive many mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters. We also see in Titus chapter 2 that older saints are to influence younger saints in the ways of life serving God. The church provides an extended spiritual family that is designed by God to have positive influence in the lives of youth. Yet all of this doesn’t minimize the primary influence of parents and youth.
Our Desire for Parental Involvement
We desire to see parent (both natural and spiritual) and teen involvement in youth ministry. Instead of just having a "drop them off at the youth meeting" mentality, parents should be involved. In customary youth ministry this would seem to be a death blow. After all, teenagers don’t want their parents around their world. This isn’t a Biblical concept but one born out of the generation gap mentality that we readily accept in our culture. In the Bible, however, we see the generations together. It is multigenerational with on generation influencing the other.
Dad and Mom (both natural and spiritual) are missing out on opportunities for rich and meaningful times with their teens with an institutional approach to youth ministry! By being involved, parents hear what their teens are being taught and experiencing in God. They get to know their friends, worship and pray together, and observe their teens in interaction with their peers.
Dad and Mom (both natural and spiritual) are missing out on opportunities for rich and meaningful times with their teens with an institutional approach to youth ministry! By being involved, parents hear what their teens are being taught and experiencing in God. They get to know their friends, worship and pray together, and observe their teens in interaction with their peers.
